The Guy in the Chair

~ By Rachel Redeemed
~ Produced by Joanna Robertson

The Sunday Scaries have really got me.

The ones that make you want to quit and question if everybody feels like this, but no one says anything. Is it just long dark days?

I might have overspent on presents and parties and polyester matching pyjamas but by the next paycheck I’ll be back to boujee.

Maybe this is the month to get ahead - I could knuckle down and up my chances of promotion… if I could only get up and out of bed.

This ‘new year’ feels suspiciously like the old one.

Did someone replay the tape? Is ‘the guy in the chair’ looping the CCTV footage like when they’re masterminding a heist in a movie? Okay - I’m calling it. Guy in the chair! It’s not funny anymore. You there - hello? … is … there actually a guy? Coz I wanna sit down and have some words if there is.

This world’s a mess. My job is treating me like a number, some people can’t keep their lights on and some countries are punching the lights out of others. What’s the deal? Is there even a chair? Is this all there is?

Hello- God speaking, took a moment to get you through, Siri had misheard you say ‘guy’. Also something about a chair? Do you need one? You do look a bit pale, I can send one round? In the meantime, it’s good to hear from you, it’s been a while since those old-school assembly bangers and you were last in touch… ah, your school exams - how are things? I’m no genie but I’m here, let’s chat